on sperm (who doesnt love it?)

DANA

How the [BLEEP] did this happen?!

RICK

Well. It happened because of sperm.

KIRSTEN

Sperm.

DANA

I hate that term.

STEVE

What?!

(sings)

Sperm, sperm is a glorious term, term

Our life is confirmed

By those cute little worms

Who doesn't love sperm?

DANA

Me!

STEVE

Who doesn't love sperm?

RICK

You came to me and Steve

One glorious eve

I shot in a shot glass

To help her conceive.

STEVE

(whispering)

We both went in that glass.

RICK

Be quiet, you ass.

STEVE

Oh, make fun of me?

You worship like Lance Bass.

KIRSTEN

Our plan was well-hatched

But when getting a batch

We hit a rough patch...

STEVE

And some spilled in your--

RICK

Sperm, sperm is a glorious term, term!

CHUCK

If it wasn't for sperm

We'd do it like germs, germs.

KIRSTEN

Germs don't have sex.

CHUCK

Exactly.

(sings)

Who doesn't love sperm?

ALL BUT DANA

Who doesn't love sperm?

DANA

I hate where it comes from

I hate how it feels

I hate how it looks

And how it congeals

KIRSTEN

But it goes with our eggs

It makes us all one

So open your legs

And push out our son!

ALL BUT DANA

Sperm, sperm is a glorious term, term

EVAN

You're 80 percent water

But 50 percent sperm!

ALL BUT DANA

Who doesn't love sperm?!

DANA

Me!

ALL BUT DANA

Who doesn't love sperm?

TOWNSFOLK JOIN IN

Sperm! Sperm! Is a glorious term, term!

Everybody's made of sperm!

Doctors and lawyers and priests on their knees.

FATHER FIGURE

I'm made of sperm!

TOWNSFOLK

Kittens and horsies and birdies in trees!

BIRDIES IN A NEST

Sperm! Sperm! Sperm!

TOWNSFOLK

It's not just for conceptions

It's great at receptions

Re-assembling vases

Moisturize faces

Caulking your tiles

Whitening smiles

Perfume a diner

Build toys in China

With billions of uses

It always amuses

Who doesn't love sperm?!

DANA

Me!

TOWNSFOLK

Who doesn't love sperm?!

Who doesn't love...

STEVE

...Sperm!!



taken from the awesome RICK N STEVE show
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